Want to visit the shop? No problem! We’re at:
MIDWEST EPHEMERA
5610 W BLOOMINGDALE AVE #41
CHICAGO IL 60639-4113
It’s just west of Central, next to the BP station. Easy, peasy, right?.
SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS TO VISIT US:
1. We keep weird hours, so make sure we’ll be at the shop before you visit. Go to 2
2. If on foot/bicycle† jump to 20. If you need to park a vehicle, go to 15
15. Park on the street, either side is fair game. Do not park in the dock (unless we told you to). Definitely don’t park in the gravel lot across the street. Go to 20
20. Find the building. The whole block is one big building, and every door is labeled “5610.” You want the 4-story section, farthest to the east, right next to the BP station. Go to 22
22. FRONT OF BUILDING: If you want to try the front door, go to 30. If you want to try the loading docks, go to 40.
30. FRONT DOOR: There’s no doorbell.* Is the door propped open with a blue trash bin? It probably is! Go inside and skip to 35. Do you have a key? Go to 31. Is it locked? call or text Bryan and/or Matt. (Bryan’s phone number is on the mailbox). If we answer, go to 60. If we don’t, go to 32.
31. Try the key. It feels like it’s not working, but it will work. You will have to fidget with it for a while, but eventually it’ll work. We’ve been through this door hundreds of times, and still have to fidget with it every time, but eventually it works. Go to 35.
32. As a wise man from North London once said, “there’s always something happening, and it’s usually quite loud.’ We probably didn’t hear the phone ring. Sorry. please try again, and again, and/or go to 40.
35. LOBBY: From the lobby, there is a passenger elevator through the door to the west (Go to 37) or stairs through the door to the north (go to 39)
38. PASSENGER ELEVATOR: When we moved in, this elevator took literally (we timed it) about six minutes to go up to the third floor. It was actually a funny exercise in comedic timing. At some point they fixed it, and now it’s downright fast, but the doors take an unsettlingly long time to open (they will, don’t worry), and sometimes, also to close. Sometimes they close really fast. I just (10-14-2025) got an email they’re coming to work on it, so we’ll see how that goes. Make sure your phone is charged. Press 3**. Go to 50
39. FRONT STAIRS: Ignore the yellow arrows, someone long ago thought those would be clever, ignoring the fact that not everyone in the building was coming to their unit. If it’s nighttime, enjoy the Saw-franchise-inspired timing of the motion sensor lights. C’mon up to the third** floor. Go to 50.
40. LOADING DOCKS (exterior): Are the doors closed? Go to 41. Are they open? Go to 42
41. They’re closed? Weird. They’re supposed to be closed, but they rarely are. Try 30 again. Stuck in a loop? Walk a couple blocks south (to 49)!
42. Choose a dock. Our buddy’s probably sitting in a Hello Kitty tractor trailer in the left dock. He’s cool. He, and whoever else happens to be around, are not gonna hassle you. For the dock on the left (west) go to 43. For the one on the right (east) go to 44)
43. LEFT (WEST) DOCK: Climb the ladder between the two ramps. Shoulda gone to the other dock, it has steps. Go to 45
44. RIGHT (EAST) DOCK: Go up the steps to the right of the ramps. Go to 45.
45. DOCKS (interior): go through the double doors into the hallway. Turn left and walk until it ends at the big sink and security monitors. (46)
46. BIG SINK: turn left to go to FRONT STAIRS (39) or through the LOBBY (35) to the PASSENGER ELEVATOR (38). Alternately, turn right to go to the BACK STAIRS (47) or FREIGHT ELEVATOR (48)
47. BACK STAIRS: Pretty self-explanatory. C’mon up to the third** floor. Go to 51
48. FREIGHT ELEVATOR: It’s your typical hand-crushing back-breaking poorly-greased double-gate scenario. Sometimes the outer door gets stuck on the third floor (but usually only when there’s a 2800-lb printing press on the elevator with you). If that happens, don’t panic, you’re not really stuck, just go back down to the first floor. If all this sounds like too much drama, maybe go back to 46 and re-evaluate your choices. If you manage to wrangle this beast to the third** floor, go to 51
49. WHITE CASTLE: Grab a few jalapeño sliders and a dirty Coke and wait for us to see your messages. We’re the worst.
50. THIRD FLOOR FRONT LANDING: (Here’s where it gets a little tricky.) Go through the door into the hallway (more motion sensor lights! Some of them work!), walk past the women’s room and turn right, then left towards the FREIGHT ELEVATOR (51). Halfway to the freight elevator, turn right, down the long hallway, we’re the last door on the left (go to 70).
51. THIRD FLOOR BACK LANDING: So close! Walk away from the FREIGHT ELEVATOR, then turn left, down the long hallway, we’re the last door on the left (go to 70).
60. We’ll come down and get you, and lead you to the shop. Go to 70
70. UNIT 41 You’re here! Welcome!
If you’re coming in unannounced, please be careful to not sneak up behind us, we might be operating heavy machinery, or working with 8pt type.
*Technically, there IS a doorbell, but it’s very clearly labeled “Seamcraft” with a firm warning to not ring it unless you’re visiting Seamcraft. Don’t bug Seamcraft, they have the power to dump water (or other liquids, gases, and/or granular materials) through a large hole in our ceiling. Who knows what Seamcraft is capable of?
**Yes, Unit 41 is on the third floor. Go figure.
† You’re welcome to bring your bicycle up to the shop.
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